CONCLUSION : I'm upset with it.
Last night went to KLIA just hoping to see SJ arrive. Who knows? They used VIP exit and ended up me and my friend wasted RM18 for nothing. I was moody by then.
Then, this morning, I get to saw then especially SJ rehearsing. Ya, I was very happy that time. Later, my friend went to press conference and accidentally she got a free pass to attend the fans meeting. Honestly, I was rather upset and envy on that time. But when I come to think of it, I can't blame her, she doesn't know it earlier too. However, this acts as a trigger to me. It triggers my mind to think why must I feel sad, unhappy and jealous about it?
Does SJ worthy for me to feel that way? I do not want my relationship with friends get spoiled just because of them ! Besides, why am I so immature that I felt jealous whenever I heard someone got to see them closely or got body contact. I'm not RATIONAL anymore!
Furthermore, whenever I attend such concert, I always ended up scolding people and show uncivilised actions due to the attitude and actions shown by some irrational fans. Tonight's concert is a good example. I keep on pushing the Korean girl who has no manners AT ALL!!!!! Impression towards Korean DEDUCTED!!!!!
These questions came to my mind. Does SJ knows how much money and effort I have spent on them? Does they know because of them, my value has decreased? I have no reputation at all!!!
Does they know because of them, I sacrifice lots of things? Most IMPORTANT is, does they know my EXISTENCE at all ??!!!!!
Actually, I know these since earlier. Just that I keep avoiding to think of these things. I do not want to face the reality. I keep on hypnotizing myself that they are good, considerate and friendly to fans. Maybe what my friends said are right, this can be acted out.
Well, maybe this is the time for me to GROW. I want to CHANGE. I do not want to be someone who always got crazy with celebrities. For now, I really hope that I can do it. However, somehow, I maybe just got emo today, then tomorrow still be the same useless me :p
These questions came to my mind. Does SJ knows how much money and effort I have spent on them? Does they know because of them, my value has decreased? I have no reputation at all!!!
Does they know because of them, I sacrifice lots of things? Most IMPORTANT is, does they know my EXISTENCE at all ??!!!!!
Actually, I know these since earlier. Just that I keep avoiding to think of these things. I do not want to face the reality. I keep on hypnotizing myself that they are good, considerate and friendly to fans. Maybe what my friends said are right, this can be acted out.
Well, maybe this is the time for me to GROW. I want to CHANGE. I do not want to be someone who always got crazy with celebrities. For now, I really hope that I can do it. However, somehow, I maybe just got emo today, then tomorrow still be the same useless me :p
4 comments:
lol
good luck!
*hugzzz* watever u be,u still our buddy ~.~
Ing noh : THKQ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Hugsssss)
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